If I’ve learned one thing about blogging so far it’s that pity sells.  This isn’t to say that’s a bad thing but I think it illustrates nicely just how glad we are that there are people out there that have suckier lives than we do.  Of course not just any pity will do.  Self-pity tends to be a huge turnoff to readers nay a way to garner serious backlash.  However there’s no denying we all keep a lundry list of all the bad crap that’s been done to us and I’m no exception.  For you approval I present to you six Really Good Reasons to Pity Me and Read My Blog:

1. At the age of two I accidentally pulled a pot of coffee off my moms friends counter spilling the entire pot on my right arm.  When my mother went to touch my arm with her fingers the skin under them was pulled off my arm leaving permamanent scars.
2. I was a bed wetter as a kid and was culled from the herd in first grade to be picked on incessantly for wetting my pants on the first day of school.
3. I was hit and nearly killed on a motorcycle.  There’s nothing to knock some perspective into you at the ripe old age of 16 than 4,000 lbs. of metal knocking you to the ground.  The bitch was drunk and high and had no insurance because she was on welfare.  The worst part was nearly losing my leg from infection and the pain of having a skin graft done.
4. I suffered from Seasonal Affective Depressive Disorder (SADD) for several years until I was treated for it at the age of 20.  Prozac anyone?
5. My wife and I lost a baby to stillbirth.
6. A few years ago I suffered from Generalized Anxiety Disorder which manifested itself as fear of flying, primary bread-winner anxiety, fear of the wind, and social anxiety.  Good times.  Good times.

This is by no means a complete list but enough to wet your appetite.  In all seriousness I would totally kick your ass if you ever thought about feeling sorry for me for anything that’s happened in my life.  The bad things are the things that define me and have made me what i am today.  Exactly what that is I’m not sure (except for obviously being a pervert…oh and prematurely gray).